Non-violent communication is a key to better understanding and togetherness.

Marshall Rosenberg developed Nonviolent Communication (NVC)  as a communication and conflict resolution process

The general need of NVC is to enable authentic, respectful contacts between people. It's about building an empathetic connection with ourselves and others.

What is important is the inner attitude, in which the needs of everyone are the focus.

This is expressed by the fact that we try to get away from our automated language, in which we often judge the other person in the event of a conflict, or see who is right or who is to blame.

If I leave out the accusations and assessments of the other person in the conflict discussion and instead talk about what is alive in me, the chances that the other person will be able to listen to me and that my concerns will be fulfilled increase rapidly.

There is greater freedom and self-efficacy when I become aware of my feelings and needs and take responsibility for them.

In terms of methodology, Marshall Rosenberg recommends the "4-step model", which we use as a tool to express ourselves in such a way that our counterpart stays in touch with us even on difficult topics.

In Nonviolent Communication we assume that

• every person wants to be a gift for others and for the world
• it is human nature to give for joy,
• all human beings have the same needs, only choose different actions to fulfill them (albeit sometimes tragically)
• all our actions are a conscious or unconscious expression of our needs
• every need serves life
• life means laughing all our laughs and crying all our tears...
• the prerequisite for this is to develop spaces in and between us and others in which all of our feelings and needs are welcome. 

Just imagine that you would carry these listed attitudes in every single cell structure of your body at all times and meet every single person with exactly this attitude and vice versa. Despite possibly difficult topics, there would always be a loving interpersonal connection and careful communication. A careful use of language and thoughts towards oneself and others creates a good basis for a consensual cooperation. The moment of stillness in which something moves, in which the decision is made to show what is really there - regardless of whether it is beautiful. In these moments the space between two or more people is filled, then a deep silence descends over it.  

Appreciative communication according to M.B. Rosenberg is more than a powerful language tool. Rather, it supports an attitude that is also well received by the other person.

With 'non-violent' communication, Marshall B.Rosenberg has developed a method that enables fruitful discussions on an equal footing.

Instead of getting stuck in the old patterns of justifications, accusations or inner withdrawal, it is about an honest exchange of feelings and needs of the two conversation partners.

If I want to be understood myself, then it makes sense if I tell the other what is alive in me:

• Describe the pure OBSERVATION of the trigger

• what FEELINGS were evoked by the situation

• which VALUES and NEEDS are the basis of my feelings

• what specific PLEASE will help me to meet my needs? 

If I want to understand the other, then I want to know which ones are

• his OBSERVATION

• his FEELINGS

• his VALUES and NEEDS

• and which PLEASE does he have?

Observation instead of judgement, evaluation, comparison, analysis / what was?”

Feelings instead of assumptions, interpretation / "How are you now?"

Needs instead of strategies / "What is it about me/you?"

Requests instead of demands “What do I/do you want to ask for?

NVC has a lot to do with deceleration. We don't have to hide what we're about. NVC assumes whatever we do is to fill a need. 

The art of communication

• be honest without accusing
• be fully heard and understood
• fully hear and understand
• transforming anger  into powerful connecting language
• develop appreciation for yourself and others
• take every concern seriously
• deal with conflicts with confidence
• encourage voluntary collaboration
• never hear blame or criticism again
• deepen good relationships
• see the beauty in everyone

Whatever, however, our counterpart speaks: We have the freedom to choose which ears we want to hear with.